Rules for Thee and Not for Me...

Hello and Good Mourning to all you awful people,

I think it goes without saying that without rules, there's chaos, which is why I am laying down the law for this forum. We run a very 'totalitarian' policy. No thoughtcrimes!

Let's stop being stupid and get to the rules, now, why don't we...

1. Follow Forumotion's TOS - This should go without saying. No illegal stuff (even if it IS cool, sorry); no porn; and no hateful stuff. You can still hate things, but you need to give a good enough reason that isn't just "they're black" or "they're gay" or WHATEVER. 
   
2. No Stupid Discourse - As a metalhead, it would be wrong for me to ban all arguments, but PLEASE keep the retardation to a minimum! Argue about whether Metallica or Megadeth is better; argue whether or not nü-metal is real metal; argue whether or not Euronymous deserved it; I totally do not care. The political bullshit can go elsewhere and don't come crying to the moderators if someone got TOO edgy.
   
3. Don't Get TOO Sexy - Obviously we already went over the no porn rule, but let's elaborate on that a bit. Obviously don't link your full-on gay metalhead twink porn in your posts, you're supposed to PM all of those videos to the moderators. I don't know what the terms of service say about drawn stuff, 'coz I'm too lazy to read 'em, but I'll be safe and say no 'Rule34' type fanart. Smutty fanfic IS allowed, but preferably contained within a link to an Ao3/Wattpad/Whatever page. Shorter 'drabble' type fanfiction can be posted as its own thing in the appropriate place, but nobody wants to have to scroll past your Biblical-length Euronymous/Varg sex fic. PLEASE and THANK YOU! ALSO, drooling is allowed, but there's a certain limit. "Lars Ulrich is so sexy!" is one thing, but detailing your BDSM fantasies about him is another. Just try to keep it cool. You're not gonna get banned or anything, since this is difficult to enforce a hard limit in, but if we think you went too far, you'll get a slap on the wrist.
   
4. Don't Be A Moron - If you make a whole post saying "hi, my name's Sally Anne Smith, I live at 321 Bimbo Road in Tardville, USA(irhead), I'm 14 years old and I LOOOVEEE Megadeth!" It's gonna get deleted as quick as we can delete it. But if someone sees it before we did, and decides to send pizzas to your house, that's YOUR fault. Not ours.
   
5. No 'Mini-Modding' - We appreciate the help, but if you see something that violates a rule, just let us know and we will take care of it ourselves. This is for your own good. You'd look lame saying 'well actually this violates rule 2' underneath half the posts you see, nobody likes a hall monitor. Being power-hungry, uptight losers is OUR job.
   
6. Be Nice - Obviously metal is all about being unbearably edgy, and I don't care if you insult someone or something, but try not to be too much of an asshole. Arguing is fun and all, but no harassment! If you see someone in a thread who you argued with earlier about an entirely unrelated topic, or even a related topic, just don't bother bringing it up. It makes you look extremely annoying. And don't go private messaging people trying to say worse things without getting banned...WE'LL KNOW! Essentially, argue all you want, but don't take it too seriously and just MOVE ON.
   
7. I Don't Care That Varg Is A Murderer - I don't know how else to name this rule. Essentially, if you see someone posting like: 'Varg Vikernes was SO cute!' I don't want to see you replying with: 'Ummm, you know he's a murderer, and a Nazi, right?' THEY KNOW. Everyone knows. They can still fangirl all they want. Obviously if you see someone saying 'Varg Vikernes is my Aryan God and I will eliminate the African race by his side' fully seriously that's a different story, but again, a moderator will take care of that.
   
8. Stay On Topic... - You can offhandedly mention how a non-metal or non-goth guy or girl was cute and stuff, and it's fine if you happen to link a fanfic or post fanart about either topic amongst a bunch of metal stuff, but please don't start whole threads about how some blonde bimbo popstar was SOOO hot. It's just unrelated and we're trying to keep things dark and creepy here! I like The Beatles, but there's a time and a place, so I'm not going to derail threads to talk about them.
   
9. ...But Post Whatever You WANT In The Junk Section - We have a wholeee area for you people who are just ITCHING to be all bright and happy in our evil goth metal place! This is where the miscellaneous art, writing and music goes, and random chitchat about your day or whatever. Go crazy!
   
10. No Posers - But also, no gatekeeping. Yes, it's always eye-roll-inducing to see someone whose knowledge of a band doesn't go past the hit songs, BUT if someone is genuinely asking a question—no matter how stupid!—either answer politely or ignore it! The best way to kill a poser is to turn him into a trve fan! These people need GUIDANCE, like drug addicts, they need rehabilitation.
    

...And that's all for the rules! Now have fun. But not too much fun! Only evil fun.